*I have started and stopped writing this post 3 or 4 times.  I just need to push through the block.  I know what the block is.  How to live when people around you have passed away.

I am not sure where to take this post at all.  We have been going through a prolonged season of grief at work and then Saturday we went to a memorial service for one of our close friend and  colleagues mother and then in the midst of that another colleague passed away last Thursday.  And as these things are they were both expected and shocking at the same time for the speed with which they happened.  I was actually surprised to watch myself walk through Thursdays events in a way that I hadn’t expected.  I could in no way convince myself that what I had heard and repeated was actually real and repeatedly found myself going to Facebook to hope that I would find out that I was wrong.  I watched myself do this in a detached kind of way and kind of marvelled at my own actions as they happened because they seemed to come from someone other than me.  A friend wrote a great post about hope in mourning that I resonate with.   This same friend has a great way of keeping it real and suggested we all go out for lunch after the service on Saturday.  So, that’s where we are.  Life goes on for us as we contemplate the loss of life in another.  It’s interesting how I feel sad or loss but those weird moments of joy too.  Laughing feels wrong and right at the same time.   Life is funny that way.

The service was on the west side of Orlando so we went to a place we had all heard about and no one had been to-unusual for a party of 6 in a town where one had grown up and the rest have lived between 5 and 15 years.  Yellow Dog Eats.  A really REALLY casual place (for two of us in heels and a couple of suits and a few more in  ties and the fact they allowed dogs inside—incidentally not my favorite.)   We tried to dissect the decor and found it could easily be dropped in a beach town or in my mind Breckenridge -it sort of had a surf shack/mountain bar vibe of casual thing.  Lots of writing on the wall, a faux biggie fish, and in general a weird over-packedness.    It’s an order at the counter and find a table spot and was really crowded over Saturday lunch.  I would definitely recommend scoping the menu online before you go to avoid problem of a long menu and a short time to think about it.  They have two general lines of food, deli type sandwiches and pulled pork sandwiches and all are sort of cheffy over the top towers of food.  Prices in general are 8-12 for a sandwich with chips which is slightly high maybe but the portions are big.  We could have easily shared something if we weren’t both so happy to eat lunch.

Z ordered the Fire Pig which is savory pulled pork, pecan-smoked bacon, Gouda cheese, tangy coleslaw and Sriracha, topped with Fish’s Gold BBQ sauce and fried onions, served in a southwest chipotle wrap.    I was surprised to see him order a wrap and he offered me a bite.  A sweetish bbq pork with a bit of heat and crunch from the slaw.  I had the Mr Smokey which is pulled pork topped with smoked pineapple slices, fried onions, pecan- smoked bacon and Fish’s Gold BBQ sauce on a fun-fluffy bun.  I used their text there and yes, the bun was fun and fluffy.  It was a sweet handheld and I loved the addition of the pineapple.  It could definitely become something I would crave.  Bags of Miss Vickies chips and nice big dill pickles were served on the side.  I liked the addition of the pickle for the acidic cut through the sweet sandwich fillings.

The food was good.  Actually go back good.  The atmosphere I didn’t love and would likely try to sit outside next time on the patio and definitely in casual clothes.  The company though – that was the best part.  This life is too short not to enjoy and adventure through with good people.  We have another service this weekend for our beloved co-worker.  It will be hard  but I know that I should go into it looking for the joy in life.